30 Days of Making It Up To Him
by AyaMae91
Summary: She loves him, but will he give her the chance to prove it to him? Little drabbles of what Elena does to convince him her feelings are real. Inspired by 3x19 and the aftermath of Damon and Elena's fight. DELENA all the way :
1. A Little Note

**30 Days of Making It Up To Him**

**Hey everybody! **

**So just a little Disclaimer to start off with: I do not own The Vampire Diaries. Trust me, if I did then there would be no need to write this story.**

**On another note, I am getting really frustrated with Delena on the show, so here is my take on what should happen now that she at least knows she feels something for him. **

**Happy Reading!**

**Chapter One: A Little Note**

The entire trip back to Mystic Falls was held in complete silence, save for the idle chit chat between Elena and Jeremy on the two and a half hour long flight. Despite the fact that they hadn't seen each other for awhile, the conversation never got too personal. Elena loved her brother dearly, but she just couldn't bring herself to talk about what had happened between her and Damon. Jeremy had been right, of course, there was something going on between her and the blue eyed vampire sitting across the aisle from them, appearing to be sound asleep.

Elena and her brother fell into silence once again, and she was left to her own thoughts for awhile. She didn't blame Damon for lashing out at her—not really, anyway. Even though it hurt, she realized she kind of deserved it. The problem was that they never really talked about their feelings. No, that wasn't really the problem—she was the one who couldn't talk about her feelings for him, let alone admit it to anyone. He had made it clear time and time again how he felt about her. Yet, not even when Stefan asked her could Elena bring herself to admit that she did love Damon. Part of her had always loved him, but her fear of being like Katharine kept her from admitting it at all costs.

It was stupid really, it would have been better for her to just admit it instead of kissing him like she had done. She realized she was toying with his feelings by not telling him what was on her mind, but now she felt it was too late as she thought back to their conversation earlier.

He wasn't going to make it easy for her this time, and she wasn't entirely sure what that meant. Did it mean that they were going to resume this silent treatment that had been going on since the ball at the Mikaelsons? What did she have to do to prove that she really was trying? She knew she couldn't come right out and say it yet, not now anyways. He wouldn't believe her even if she did tell him she loved him. So what were her options? Just sit back and forget about it until the ordeal with Klaus was over? Or should she put her feelings out on the line in the hopes that eventually he would believe her motives with him were pure. That would mean not turning to Stefan when things were frustrating with Damon. It would mean no longer relying on Stefan to remind her that she didn't need Damon. It would truly change everything if she completely chose him over the man she had originally fallen in love with.

If she was being completely honest with herself, that thought terrified her. Stefan was safe—she didn't have to worry about him lashing out at her when things got tough. Sure he was unstable, but their love for each other was not—that was, until she started having feelings for Damon. He was unpredictable, impulsive, but his love for her was intense—more intense than even Stefan's, but it excited her as much as it also terrified her. She had no idea what a future with him would be like.

She let out a sigh, and rubbed her eyes as she realized she was utterly exhausted. She turned to face the man across the aisle, openly staring at him in admiration. In his slumber, she could see the pain in his features—a pain that he wouldn't let show when he was awake. She felt a tear well up and slip down her cheek as she realized it was her fault he was so troubled.

She turned back to face the front and wiped the tear from her face. Jeremy noticed, and whispered, "Are you alright?"

She thought about saying 'yes, I'm fine,' but shook her head instead. She was far from fine.

Her brother rested his hand on her arm and looked from her to Damon in silence. He knew that she was conflicted over her feelings for him, and although he didn't completely understand it, Rose had made him feel better about whatever it was that was going on. Remaining silent, he took out a piece of paper from his backpack and scribbled a small note for Elena.

She took it from him and scanned the words on the scrap of paper. _I know you have feelings for him. You don't have to worry about me, I'll always be here for you._

She smiled at him and scribbled back. _Thanks Jer…and you're right, I do. I just don't know what to do about it. I don't think he believes that I actually feel something for him. I guess I don't blame him though._

He thought for a moment before writing a response. _Then you need to prove it to him. How you do it though, is up to you…_

She read it, and thanked him for the advice. She still wasn't entirely sure how she was going to prove it to him, but she figured she could start by writing a small letter to him which she later snuck into his coat pocket.

. . .

After Damon had dropped Elena and her brother off at their house, he made his way back to the boarding house, not quite ready to face Stefan and the questions he would likely encounter regarding Elena. Actually, he really didn't want to talk about, think about, or even see Elena. He couldn't allow himself to get his hopes up after that kiss they shared. Not when she was still so obviously conflicted over her feelings for him.

He reached in his coat pocket to take out his phone when he felt a small piece of paper that most definitely hadn't been there earlier that night. He pulled it out and saw his name written in Elena's smooth handwriting. He contemplated throwing it away without reading it, but decided to see what she could possibly have to say after the event of the last two nights.

He unfolded the small piece of paper and allowed a small smile to creep up onto his lips.

_Damon, _

_ I know you're angry with me… I would be angry with me too. I want you to know that I don't blame you for lashing out at me tonight. I know that I have given you hope, and then destroyed it with a single word. I know that I have caused you a lot of pain…but I should have said this sooner, I do feel something for you. Just please, give me a chance to show you. I know it will take some time… I have hurt you too much for you to let me off the hook that easily. I just hope you'll forgive me for everything that I've done to hurt you. Hopefully see you soon. _

_ Elena_

Damon neatly folded the note back up and placed it with his secret stash of all things concerning Elena. He knew he shouldn't allow this one letter to give him so much hope, but he couldn't help but feel just a little bit happier because of it.

Nonetheless, he was going to put her offer to the test. Sure, he would give her the chance to prove whatever it was she was feeling for him, but just as he had said earlier, he was _not_ going to make it easy for her. Not this time. He would see just how much she wanted to make things right with him.

**There…I hope you like it! If you do, please click the little button below and submit a review. I would really really love it if you did :)**

**Also, If you have any suggestions to what Elena could do to make it up to our favorite blue eyed vamp please feel free to PM me with your ideas :)**


	2. An Invitation

**Holy! Thank you for all the subscriptions and story alerts I received this morning! I love waking up and seeing that my inbox has been bombarded with emails =3**

**I have a few ideas as to where I could go with this, but as always I would love some feedback from you guys! I get a lot of inspiration from music, so if you have any song suggestions, that would also be wonderful! **

**Anyway, on to the next chapter.**

**Chapter Two: An Invitation**

Elena awoke in the morning feeling more refreshed and rejuvenated than she had in awhile. Maybe it was her newfound determination to prove herself to Damon that had her so excited. Or maybe it was the small note that she found lying on her dresser when she awoke that said, _Thank you for the note last night. I appreciate it, but it still doesn't change anything. I meant what I said yesterday. Damon. _Even though nothing had changed, and she understood perfectly why, it meant that he was giving her the chance that she wanted.

She smiled, knowing exactly what she needed to do next. To be honest, she really enjoyed this challenge he was presenting her with. She knew that it was going to be tough, but nothing in life that was meaningful or worth pursuing was ever easy to attain. She wondered how it took her so long to realize that Damon really was worth the fight, and she would do anything to keep him in her life.

Just then her cell phone rang from her bedside table and she rushed over to pick it up, hearing Caroline's voice bubbling with excitement on the other end of the line.

"Elena! You're home right? We should go shopping for our 20's flapper dresses and accessories today if you're not busy?" Elena knew that was Caroline's way of guilt tripping her into feeling obligated to go.

She laughed, "I would love to Care, wanna pick me up in half an hour? I need to get ready."

"Sure, no problem! See you soon!"

They hung up and exactly half an hour later, Caroline was waiting outside in her car, honking the horn like a mad woman. Elena wished she was nearly as excited as Caroline was, but somehow every Mystic Falls High decade dance ended in disaster—or at least near disaster, and she couldn't help but feel this one would be no different. But for her best friend's sake, she put on a smile and adopted a positive attitude before climbing into the car.

It took no time at all to find their dresses at the little boutique in a nearby town. They laughed, took pictures, and found the perfect outfits for the dance. Elena chose a white flapper with sequins and pearls that showed off her olive skin and black accessories to compliment the outfit nicely. Caroline chose a hot pink dress with tassels covering it from top to bottom, and white gloves to go with it.

On the drive back to Mystic Falls, they talked about Elena and Damon's little vacation to Denver. Elena remembered how upset Caroline was to find out from Bonnie the last time they had kissed, so she told her friend everything from the kiss to the fight, but not about her most recent decision.

She was surprised when Caroline suggested that she ask Stefan to the dance. She didn't bother to ask why, she knew Caroline still harbored some bitterness towards Damon for the way he had used her when he first came to Mystic Falls. Yet, she couldn't help but feel that everybody needed to open their eyes to how much Damon had changed since he first showed up. It was amazing really.

Elena didn't talk much after that conversation and allowed Caroline to ramble on about Tyler for the rest of the drive. She vaguely wondered how everyone had ended up in such messed up relationships. Stefan was a ripper, Klaus was a maniacal hybrid who apparently fancied Caroline, Tyler was a werewolf who had almost killed Caroline, and Matt was laying the moves down on Rebekah, the manipulative original slut. And then there was Elena, who was falling in love with her ex-boyfriend's older brother. Boy, it was all so messed up that she chuckled and let out a sigh.

By that time, Elena had been dropped off at her house, and Caroline had left. Elena decided to pay a visit to the boarding house—more specifically, to pay a visit to Damon.

"Well hello _Elena, _to what do I owe the pleasure?" Damon sported his classic smirk as he leaned against the doorframe and cocked an eyebrow in her direction.

"I have a favor to ask of you. May I come in?"

"You're always welcome, it's not like you need to ask anymore…but yes, please come in." He was cautious every time Elena came to him with a favor to ask. For some reason, they were never favors that particularly benefited him in any way. "So, what's this favor you wish to ask of me?"

She smiled widely. It unnerved him a little, because he had no clue what she was smiling about so vividly. "Damon, will you be my date to the decade dance tomorrow night?" This definitely took him by surprise, and he gave her a hesitant look. "I'm serious Damon. I would like for you to be my date. I was serious when I wrote you that note last night. I know you're going to make this difficult for me, but at least accept my invitation…" She gave him a pleading look that he could not say no to. He actually wondered if it were possible for anyone to say no to a woman who looked positively seductive with a pouty expression on her face.

"Well, it would be rude of me to decline, wouldn't it?"

"Is that a yes?"

"Of course. Just don't be angry if I'm looking exceptionally ravishing tomorrow night. Better be on your best behavior if you want to be my date! I can't have you all over me at a _high school _dance, now can I?" He shot her another classic smirk, and disappeared into the parlor before calling back to her. "I'll pick you up at 9?"

She smiled even though he couldn't see it, and agreed before returning home for the night. Back at the boarding house, Damon sat in front of the fire sipping from a glass of whiskey, wondering how in the world he was going to stay in control of his feelings if Elena continued with this challenge. She would undoubtedly win if she was in fact serious about her feelings for him. He chuckled, remembering a time when it was he who had tried almost anything to win her over. Now the roles were reversed, and he realized he was going to enjoy it, even if it didn't turn out like he wanted it to. He downed the rest of his whiskey in one gulp, and then headed up to his room, contemplating all the ways he could make this more challenging for her.

**Ok, so I know that she actually goes to the dance with Stefan in tonight's episode, but I thought this would be so much better!**

**Hope you enjoyed it and please don't forget to leave me a review :) Also, enjoy tonight's all new episode! YAY!**


	3. The Dance

**Thank you so much for the reviews and story alerts. 3x20…although it made me extremely angry and sad, and I pretty much bawled my eyes out, it did give me a few ideas for this story.**

**I'm not giving up on Delena, no matter what happens. Stefan can go F*** himself…pardon my language. **

**Anyways…this is how the dance should have gone. With Damon. **

**Chapter 3: The Dance**

Elena walked up the red carpet to the entrance of the auditorium with her arm hooked through Damon's. She glanced over at him and gave him a quick smile before they entered the gym and were bombarded with music from the 1920's. He took her hand and led her to the dance floor, determined to show her his superb dancing skills. He twirled, spun, and drew Elena flush against his body, watching as her cheeks turned pink and listening as her heart beat picked up speed from the exertion— or from their closeness, he wasn't sure which.

She was laughing, and he noticed a genuine happiness alight in her eyes, something that had been missing for months. Even though nothing had been resolved between them, it was enough knowing that he was the cause of her happiness, at least in this moment, amid all the craziness that was Mystic Falls.

The music changed to a slow dance, and he held out his hand for her once again. She took it in her own, and he gently wrapped his other arm around her waist, drawing her closer to him. They casually swayed to the beat and made small circles across the floor.

"You look absolutely beautiful, by the way." Damon spoke gently against her forehead. "But then again, there's never a moment when you're not beautiful." He figured he would kick himself in the ass later for allowing her beauty to distract him as much as it had, but he rarely had an opportunity like this to just be with her, even if she still didn't know what she wanted.

He felt her features shift against his cheek as she smiled. "Thank you, Damon. You look exceptionally _ravishing _tonight as well," she teased and he thought it was cute how she chose to use his words from the night before. "I'm glad you agreed to come with me…"

"I couldn't possible deny an opportunity to show you how sexy I can be when I'm all dressed up in a tux and ready to shake my booty!" He pulled away from her to gaze into her eyes, flashing his brilliant smile and shaking his 'booty' to prove his point.

Giggling almost uncontrollably, Elena pulled him back to finish their slow dance, and fought the distinct urge to kiss him. She couldn't possible deny the way he made her feel alive and carefree—when they weren't fighting that was. She allowed herself to get lost in his icy blue eyes for a few moments before resting her forehead on his shoulder, relishing in the feeling of safety that he provided her with.

Silence fell between them for a short period of time, until Damon broke it with a question that he had been dying to ask, but afraid to ask at the same time. "Why did you ask me to be your date, and not Stefan?"

She was so surprised by this question that she nearly stopped dancing all together. She should have expected him to ask something like this, but she was afraid that if he did, she wouldn't have the answer he was hoping to hear. She took a few moments to form a good enough response that wouldn't end in disaster, before sighing, and turning to look him in the eyes once again. "Well, because I wanted to go with you."

"You sure that's the only reason?"

"No, it's not the only reason. But…It's the only reason I can truthfully give you right now."

"Try me."

She swallowed, unsure of what to say to him. She had feelings that she couldn't express with words yet—feelings that still needed to be sorted out. So she said the only thing she really could say to him. "I have feelings for you. And…even though I'm still conflicted, I wanted to give these feelings a chance to properly develop, if that's what is going to happen. I will never know, If I keep fighting even the slightest possibility that this could develop into something more. And that's all I have been doing…is fighting it." She looked away, embarrassed by her confession that revealed more than she really intended it to, but feeling relieved at the same time.

He could have crushed her lips with his in a rush of fiery passion in that moment after she finished her confession. He was overjoyed—no, positively ecstatic, that for once she was able to respond with something other than 'I don't know,' or 'this isn't right.' Maybe there really was hope for the two of them after all. As soon as he allowed himself that hope he swiftly crushed it. He still could not allow himself too much hope for something that would surely crush him if it proved to be a lie. And so he responded with a simple 'thank you,' and pulled her close to him, content to just hold her in his arms for the rest of the night.

**D'awww :) I'm really happy with the way this chapter turned out! It was just too cute and I've been feeling particularly romantic lately, but with no one to be romantic with…so I express it here! And now I feel better.**

**I hope you liked it! Please let me know what you think. As for the next chapter, if I have time I will try to get it up tomorrow!**

**Good night!**


	4. The Sunset

**Because 3x20 was so heartbreaking, this chapter takes place the following day, and will most likely be longer than the previous ones. I got my motivation for this chapter from a song called You by Framing Hanley. Check it out, it's beautiful. 3**

**Now on to the Chapter….**

Chapter 4: The Sunset

Damon slouched on the couch in front of the fireplace, sipping a glass of his favorite amber liquid. After the previous night, it was going to be a very long day in which the consumption of liquor would be the only way he kept his sanity—what was left of it at least.

The doorbell rang, snapping him out of his reverie. He groaned, thinking it was far too early in the day for unwanted visitors. He reluctantly opened the door to find Elena standing on the doorstep. She looked exhausted—she had probably gotten about as much sleep as everyone else, which wasn't saying much considering he had gotten maybe two hours of sleep himself.

"Please, Elena, I don't think I can take any more bad news…" He paused, while his thoughts wondered off again. "I'm not in the mood to be all sappy and depressing along with you."

Elena briefly felt tears well up in her eyes, but ignored them. "You're lashing out again Damon… I know this is hard, but I'm not sure I'm the one you should be lashing out at…." He sighed, but said nothing. His cold blue eyes softened and he stepped aside to allow her to enter, but she remained on the doorstep. "I want you to come with me somewhere."

"Where? And more importantly…why? Shouldn't we be dealing with the problem at hand?"

"We will. But you and I need a break from all this. Just for the day. Please?" Her brown eyes searched his, pleading with him to agree. He knew he needed to get away from everything, and she was providing the perfect opportunity for him, but he was hesitant. Noting this, Elena resorted to the one thing she knew he couldn't deny. "I brought a little something that might help," she smiled and revealed a bottle of his favorite brand of whiskey from behind her back.

He characteristically cocked his eyebrow in her direction, and she saw a flash of amusement cross his features. "What's this? Elena's being mischievous and breaking the law? Well, what are we waiting for, then? Lead the way Miss Gilbert." A small smile appeared on his lips and he hopped in Elena's car with her, remaining silent as she drove north out of Mystic Falls."Where are we going, anyway?"

"Nowhere in particular. Just….away for the day." She glanced over at him. They were silent for most of the drive, and an hour later Elena pulled off to the side of the road. They were in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by rolling hills. The best part was that it was perfectly peaceful—no hybrids, witches or originals, just peace and quiet. Elena pulled out a large blanket and the bottle of whiskey from the back seat, and they climbed to the top of the nearest hill. She spread the blanket out over the grass and they made themselves comfortable, passing the bottle of whiskey between them.

They mostly sat in silence, simply enjoying the fact that they didn't have to worry about all the danger that was waiting for them back home. No one was trying to murder them, steal their blood for ulterior motives, or plotting revenge against them. They didn't talk about Alaric—it was too difficult for both of them. Words were unnecessary. It was simple, but just sitting on the top of the hill together, they both felt at peace with everything that had happened, even though it was far from over.

Evening fell, and they watched as the sun began to set; the clouds began to change colors from orange, red, and even some purple here and there. The bottle of whiskey they had been sharing was long gone, and the buzz was already beginning to wear off. It was then that Elena remembered a moment from her childhood. She had been angry with Jeremy for stealing her diary, and had climbed onto the roof to watch the sunset when her father climbed up to join her. She remembered crying while he kindly told her not to let the sun set on her anger. She realized with a jolt of guilt that she never really followed that advice, even though she always gave it to others.

She wrapped her arms around her knees and stared at a small anthill on the ground in front of her. "I'm sorry Damon…"

He turned to face her, scrutinizing her intensely with his blue eyes. It unnerved her when he did that. It was as if he could see straight into the core of her soul, like nothing was a secret. "For what?"

"Well…for everything. I never apologized to you about what I said the night of the Original ball…You should know that I didn't mean it."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it, I'm over it."

"But it's not fine, Damon. Not at all. How many times have we said something we didn't mean to each other? And how often do we ever actually resolve it? We just let things bottle up until eventually we lash out at each other….Take Denver for example. Everything that happened was because we never talk about what's going on between us, whether it's good or bad, and then things… 'happen.' I am sorry that I didn't just tell you earlier that I was trying to sort out my feelings for you. We should have talked about it a long time ago. But I was too afraid, and I'm sorry for that…."

Damon stood and faced away from her, silent for a few moments. Truthfully, he was too exhausted to even care about what had happened between them in Denver, but he also knew they had to talk about it at some point. "Look, Elena. As irritating and frustrating it is that you can't seem to make up your damn mind, I get it. I don't blame you for being afraid, so don't be sorry for that. Just…I don't know what to tell you Elena. I'm just sick of waiting… I'm sick of always guessing what it is you want from me."

"That's the point I'm trying to make…We've never talked about it before. Or one of us has tried and then the other gets defensive and shuts down. It shouldn't be like that between us. We've been through too much, and saved each other too often, for us to not be able to talk about these things."

He could hear the tears in her voice, and it cut him to the core. In a flash he was kneeling before her, stroking her cheek tenderly with his thumb. A tear rolled down her cheek and he gently wiped it away. "It's ok Elena…You're right. It shouldn't be like this between us, no matter how hard it is knowing that I can't be with you."

She gazed into his eyes, feeling that same gravitational pull she always felt when they were this close to each other. She wanted to lean forward and kiss him. But she couldn't. Not until she had her feelings and all the guilt that came along with them sorted out. "Damon…" She leaned her face into his hand, finding comfort in the feeling.

"Shh…Don't worry about it. Take all the time you need to figure it out…I'm not going anywhere." He leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Besides, we still have a lot of shit to get through…together. Now, you brought me out here to get away from all that crap, so let's just enjoy what's left of our quiet, peaceful time together. Sound good?"

She smiled, and let out a small laugh.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, it's just…I wanted to do something nice to cheer you up after last night…and you ended up being the one to make me feel better."

He sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms, resting his cheek on the top of her head. "Believe me, you've done more than you could possibly imagine. I never would have admitted it, but watching Ric choose to die to save us all, and then forced to transition…was one of the most painful experiences of my existence. He may be a vampire now, but we both lost someone very important to us…"

It broke Elena's heart to hear the raw pain and sorrow in Damon's voice, but she knew there was nothing she could say that would change the situation. She had lost the only guardian she had left, and Damon had lost his best friend. Sure, it wasn't the same, but she was still feeling the pain of loss. "We'll get through it Damon…We always do."

He smiled into her hair, and they fell back into silence. The sun had set, and the light blue sky was beginning to fade to black, but they could still see the trees in the distance. After a few minutes, Elena spoke again.

"You know, I'm staring out over these rolling hills at the trees in the distance…and I've come to realize that somewhere amid all this crap that we've been through, there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. There has to be those trees in the distance, and no matter how difficult it is to reach them, there simply has to be a way. We can't go through everything that we've been through, and not come out on the other side…victorious. I just have to keep reminding myself that—_We _need to keep reminding each other that…"

Damon was moved by her words in spite of himself. "Well, how about this…I'll keep reminding you as long as you keep reminding me." Truthfully, it was what they had always done for each other, but neither of them had ever voiced it before.

Elena gave in to the first genuine smile she'd smiled all day, and took Damon's hand firmly in her own. "Ok, it's a deal."

**I'm sorry for the wait with this chapter? I ended up working on homework all weekend because it's finals week. **

**Anyway, I just want to say that I love the idea for this chapter. We all know that resorting to alcohol isn't really Elena's thing…so that's what made the action to special. **

**I hope that it flowed well…I had a little trouble keeping it relatively short, but including everything I wanted to. All in all, I am very happy with this chapter. If you have time, please let me know what you think! =D**


	5. Peace of Mind

**Well, I must say that I was not expecting them to desiccate Klaus' body… and to be honest, I am more than a little upset, because I am about as much of a Klaroline fan as I am a Delena fan…**

**I really enjoyed that episode though…. Buuuut Elena's little confession to both of them realllly didn't help spark any more ideas for this story like I had hoped. However, we will see what happens once I start writing. Also, I don't like that Elena passed out at the end…so it didn't happen. lol**

**As always, thank you for the reviews and subscriptions. It makes me very happy :) Hope you enjoy this chapter. **

**Chapter 5: Peace of Mind**

"You're going to have to make a choice eventually…You know that right?" Caroline said while handing her a shot of tequila and salt.

Elena looked at her friend and nodded before knocking back the shot of alcohol— If only her friends knew that she had already made up her mind. The problem was that Klaus had been right, and if it weren't for him, she may have confessed already that she wanted to be with Damon, despite how complicated her feelings still were. Nonetheless, with everything that had been going on, it was not the right time to tell anyone what choice she had made. It wouldn't have done anyone any good. And today was a day for celebration—Klaus was finally out of their lives, hopefully for good. She didn't want to ruin anyone's good spirits by dropping _that _kind of news, even though all her friends were aware of the predicament she was in.

No, she decided that she was going to enjoy the newfound freedom of living in a world devoid of that evil hybrid. Although, she had to admit she was curious if Caroline really was alright with what had happened. She knew her best friend well enough to be able to see though the mask—and that mask was hiding the feelings that she had begun to develop for Klaus. Truthfully, she would have liked to see if Klaus was capable of changing his ways for the love of a girl, just as Damon and Stefan had done, but in the end this was the best option for everyone, even Caroline.

That night when she crawled into her bed, exhausted from the day, Elena realized that she hadn't heard from Damon or Stefan since they left to dispose of Klaus' body. She grabbed her phone from her bedside table and called Damon to check in on the two of them.

After two rings, she heard his voice on the other end. She noticed that he sounded happier than she had heard him sound in a very long time.

"Hey Damon… I'm going to bed, so I thought I would call and see where you were at, and make sure everything, you know, went well."

"Everything is peachy on this end Elena…You should get some rest. You have nothing to worry about." She could practically hear the smile in his voice, and she found herself smiling along, simply happy that Klaus was finally gone, and the people she loved were still safe.

"I'm glad to hear that… I will see you tomorrow then. Good night, Damon." She realized she could have simply texted him for how short this conversation was, but if she was being honest, she really just wanted to hear his voice. It was the one thing that reassured her that everything really was alright for the time being.

"Good night, Elena."

As soon as she ended the call, a thought crossed her mind and she thought about calling him back, but decided to send a quick text instead. _I forgot to thank you._

Seconds later he responded. _For what?_

She wasn't sure how to best phrase what she wanted to say, so she just typed what was on her mind. _For being so understanding…I know it's been more difficult for you, not knowing how I feel about you and all…I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it. _

_ Don't mention it. Like I said yesterday, take as much time as you need to figure it out…Besides, I'm just happy that you have finally acknowledged your feelings. However you make a decision in the end, at least I can be at peace with that._

She had to admit she was proud of herself for finally being able to admit to the two brothers why she was so afraid to make a formal decision. She was far from telling them that she had indeed made up her mind, but at least they both knew what was going on in the jumbled mess that was her brain. In the meantime, she was going to just continue finding ways to prove to Damon that her feelings were real. She had no doubt that somewhere along the line, his patience would begin to wear thin, and she was determined to prevent that from happening again.

She couldn't think of a way to respond to his text message, and so she shut her phone, drifting easily into sleep. In the black SUV, Damon was staring out the window smiling to himself, happy that for once the day hadn't ended in complete and utter disaster. More importantly, it was the first time that he actually didn't feel torn up over his feelings for Elena, and the fact that she had feelings for both him and his brother.

Unfortunately, tomorrow would be a completely different day with new challenges to face, but for now, he was going to relish in the happiness that he was feeling.

**I know this was short and extremely simple…but I thought it fit with the episode and with where I had left off in the previous chapter. I will admit that the episode completely threw me off, but that's alright, because soon I will have all summer to do as I please with this story without being influenced by each new episode. **

**Thanks again to those of you who are following this story, I greatly appreciate the support!**


	6. The Choice

**OH MY GOD! That season finale was amazing. I know many people are pissed about Elena choosing Stefan and then becoming a vampire and yes all that sucks, but honestly, it had to happen eventually. But I'm more curious about what's going to happen when the compulsion wears off and Elena realizes that she met Damon first. THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR THEM! That's all that matters…but seriously oh my god. **

**And what's going to happen with Klaus in Tyler's body? Can he stay like that forever? I have no clue what that means…especially for Klaus and Caroline.**

**Anyway… I have a few ideas in mind now, and if I have time I should be able to get the next couple chapters up this weekend.**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 6: The Choice

Elena sat in the passenger seat of Matt's truck, still feeling drowsy from the drugged tea Matt had given her so that he could kidnap her and take her away from Mystic Falls. Even though she was appreciative of the thoughtfulness, she still would rather die than run from all her problems. For the time being though, and partially to appease Matt, she decided to go along with his plan. However, that quickly changed the moment she heard the news of Klaus' death, and she demanded they turn around to go back to Mystic Falls.

Now she was faced with an even greater dilemma; Damon wasn't in Mystic Falls with everyone else. She had no idea if Klaus had been telling the truth about siring Damon and Stefan's bloodline, but it didn't matter. All of her friends were in danger, and it just so happened that Damon was the only one not there. She didn't know how to choose whether to go to Damon or go back to Mystic Falls and be there for everyone else. She knew she wanted to go back to Damon. But she also wanted to go back to Stefan—to her friends who needed her. But that meant Damon would possibly die alone. And that thought simply tortured her.

_Why was it always between Damon and Stefan? _She realized that if it came down to the two of them over one other person, the decision would be easier—not simple by any means, but easier. She would still be torn over the situation, but in the end she figured she would have chosen to say her goodbyes to the two Salvatore brothers.

Yet time was ticking away and she had to make a decision. Judging by the number of phone calls that had been made to relay the message of Klaus' death, about 15 minutes had already passed. They were much closer to Mystic Falls than to wherever Damon was, and there was no guarantee they would even make it to him before time ran out. With a heavy heart and a guilty conscience, Elena dialed Damon's number, knowing that her choice to go back to Mystic Falls would crush him.

It was a relief to hear his voice over the phone but the worry she felt for him was still apparent in her voice as she hastily blurted out question after question regarding his state of well-being. Sure he sounded healthy and ensured her that he felt fine, but then again when Sage had died the symptoms hadn't taken affect for about an hour.

"I'm sure we'll have a laugh when we find out that Klaus is a _big fat liar_." Damon's attempt at humor did little to raise Elena's spirits, and when he realized this he knew the conversation would take a rather depressing turn for the worst. "Hey, where are you?" The question held traces of hope, concern, and fear, and suddenly Elena felt her stomach jump to her throat.

She hesitated for too long, and Damon already knew the answer before the regretful words came out of her mouth. "Matt's taking me home…."

Realization dawned on him, and he desperately tried to bite back the anger that flared up at her words. If he really were going to die within the hour, he could not allow their final words to end in a fight like this. "To Stefan…"

She could hear the pain in his voice as if it were radiating through the phone and into the very fiber of her being. "Not just to Stefan, Damon…to Tyler. To Caroline. To—"

"No, I know. I get it." And he truthfully did, but it did nothing to relieve the heartache he was experiencing. "So, since I'm possibly a dead man….can I ask you a question?" Maybe he was an idiot, but he had to know the answer.

"Sure, of course."

"If it was just down to him and me, and you had to make a choice…who got the goodbye?" He was fairly certain he knew what her answer would be, but the anticipation as he waited patiently for her response was almost too much to bear. "Who would it be?"

She was not expecting this question, but she hardly had to think before she knew the answer to the question—she had known the answer to the question the entire time. Tears began to stream down her cheeks as she realized what she was losing. "If it were between you and Stefan…it would have been you, Damon—in a heartbeat."

On the other end of the line, Damon stood dumbstruck. "Elena…" It was the only word he could choke out as he mentally cursed Ric for destroying the beauty of this moment in which Elena was choosing _him_—a moment that meant that they could have finally been together. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all, and he wept silently along with the girl on the phone.

"I'm so sorry Damon. For everything. I have been trying to make it up to you since Denver, but there hasn't been enough time an-and I can't stand the thought of losing you Damon! I don't want to lose anymore of my friends…. I won't live through this if I really lose all the people that I care about this time…" She was crying hysterically by now, and as she had done so many times for him, it was Damon's turn to console her.

"Shhh…remember what you said to me the other day when we drove out to the middle of bumfuck nowhere? You said that we would get through this—that we always do. We will come out on the other side of this—victorious. _You _will get through this Elena. _You _will be victorious."

"Damon…how is losing any of you coming out victorious? I don't want to live in a world without you in it. I can't even imagine that."

Damon allowed himself a small smile on the other end. "Yes you can, Elena. Besides…there's a chance that after the hour comes and passes, we may still be alive. Hold on to that hope. Don't give up yet."

Elena took a few deep breaths as she sat in the truck, staring out the window into the darkness of the trees as they blurred past.

"You're right Damon, you'll be fine. Klaus was lying…"

"Now that's the spirit!" He hardly believed it himself, but Damon had to make her believe that he would be alright in the end, and that she had to be strong for everyone. At that moment, he turned to find Alaric standing ten feet away, glaring daggers at him. "Elena, I gotta go. I will see you soon." He paused, and for what he desperately hoped was not the last time, said "I love you."

"Damon wait I—" The phone cut off and all she heard was a small click followed by silence on the other end of the line. "—Love you too."

**There it is folks! I am really pleased with this chapter.**

**However, I feel that due to the direction the show went, I am veering off my original plot for this story. We will see how it progresses though, but feel free to let me know what you think! I love the feedback.**

**On a side note… I just created a Vampire Diaries music video. It's neither Stelena or Delena, but rather focuses on everything Stefan puts Elena through in the first half of the season. And also, further justifies why Damon and Elena should be together. **

**Here's the link if you wish to check it out! .com/watch?v=HNMrIehlmdk **

**and since it won't post the whole thing... it's on youtube. lol**


	7. The Transition

**Thank you all so much for the reviews! I have the next three chapters figured out for sure, but I could definitely use some help coming up with future ideas… As always, if you have any ideas, feel free to pm them to me :)**

**On to the next chapter now…**

**Chapter 7: The Transition**

Elena's eyes shot open and she gasped violently for air. She was disoriented, confused, and hungry—_why was she so damn hungry? _Her throat burned and her body ached, but she couldn't remember why. And then suddenly it hit her like ton of bricks being catapulted right into her chest.

_The accident._

But none of it made sense. She looked around her, and saw Stefan silently watching her with sorrowful eyes. She couldn't figure out where she was—or more importantly, where Matt was. Surely he was alright.

So then, how was she still alive? She was certain she had drifted off into an endless sleep shortly after Stefan had pulled Matt from the truck. There was no possible way he had been able to return soon enough to save her from those watery depths as well. Then again, maybe he _had. _

"Stefan… where am I?" She turned to him, her body trembled and she shivered. Not only was she cold and wet, but she had a very bad feeling about whatever else happened after Stefan pulled Matt from the water.

He hesitated as he thought about a less frightening response, but ultimately opted for the truth. "Elena…We're in the morgue…"

She gave him a quizzical look. "The morgue…but, that means that everyone else thinks I'm dead. We have to tell them! Let them know that I'm alright!" She panicked and hastened to slide off the table but Damon's sudden burst through the door stopped her short. She stared up at him, thankful beyond all thankfulness that he was alive—that she was able to see him again. "Damon…" She allowed a huge breath of relief flow from her lungs.

"I don't think it would be a good idea for you to see anyone at the moment, Elena." He also held a sorrowful expression in his eyes, and she unmistakably wondered why no one else seemed as happy as she was that she was indeed alive. The look on her face was crestfallen, and tears began to brim her lower eyelashes.

"What's wrong? You two should be overjoyed that I'm okay, yet here you both are looking like you've seen a ghost!"

It was Stefan that spoke this time, while Damon approached the table she was sitting on and comfortingly took her hand in his. "Believe me when I say that we are grateful that you're…alive. But, I don't think it's the kind of 'alive' you're hoping for…"

Realization dawned on her as she looked back and forth between the two brothers. "No. No, no, no, no, no. NO! This can't be happening!" She tore her hand from Damon's firm grasp and began pacing the room. Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she crossed her arms over her chest as if trying to hold herself together. "How could this happen? I didn't drink anyone's blood…"

"Elena…when Jeremy brought you to the hospital earlier, you had experienced a cerebral hemorrhage. Dr. Fell gave you vampire blood to heal you…"

She stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face the two of them. "SHE DID WHAT? After _everything_ that we have been through and all the times I could have died or become a vampire, it's because a damn doctor decided she needed to _save my life_? Well isn't that just ironic…" She resumed her pacing, and then made a dash for the door. "I'm going to _kill _her!" In a flash Damon and Stefan were there, holding her back.

"Elena, stop this madness!" She fought hard against Stefan's grip around her torso and Damon's hold on her wrists.

"It's going to be alright!" Damon cautiously removed his hands from her wrists and placed them upon either side of her face. "Elena _look_ at me. You are going to get through this. We will help you through this. No matter what it takes, okay?"

She stopped fighting and gazed up into his icy blue orbs, then flung her arms wildly around him, sobbing uncontrollably against his chest. Stefan released her and left the room, allowing them their moment. Damon gently wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.

"I don't want to be a vampire Damon! I never wanted this…" She couldn't stop the tears, no matter how hard she tried. "It's not fair!" she exclaimed as she gripped the folds of his shirt tightly in her hands.

"Shhh, shhh. I know it's not fair." He pulled back slightly to look her in the eyes, and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "For most of us it's not fair. But whether you like it or not you're in transition… and now you have to make a choice: become a vampire or die."

"It's not that simple, Damon!" She backed away from him, feeling her anger flare up once again at the whole fucked up situation.

"Yes it is. If you don't go through with it you will die."

"I'm already dead! What difference does it matter?"

"What difference, Elena?" Now it was his turn to be angry. He heard Stefan re-enter the room, but it didn't matter. "The difference _Elena, _is that I thought I had lost you forever when Ric died back there! Do you even _understand_ the torment I was going through as I rushed as fast as I could back to Mystic Falls—the whole time thinking you were _dead! _And then I get here…and I find out that you had vampire blood in your system. You have another chance at life now!Sure, it may not be what you wanted it to be, but at least the people who love you won't have to suffer this way! But no, you don't think that _matters _do you?"

He was breathing heavily, all the while glaring daggers at her, and slowly she felt her anger melting under the intensity of his gaze.

"Brother, she has the right to choose death over an eternity of blood lust. It isn't fair that it had to happen like this…at least let her make this decision on her own."

"Shut up Stefan. What would you know about letting others make this decision on their own? If I recall it was your fault I became a vampire in the first place. And I never even wanted it!" His previous Elena induced anger was now being directed at Stefan, who was equally as angry. They were all angry.

"If you never even wanted it, then why would you force it on her?" Stefan yelled back, pointing a finger in Elena's direction.

"BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT UP AND STOP FIGHTING! This is _my _decision. _Not _yours." That got their attention, as they both turned to face her. "Look, both of you are right…but I've made my decision."

They looked at her hopefully, all anger fading from their features.

She sighed, wishing that it hadn't happened like this. But they were right. She had to make a decision. "I'll do it. For you. For everyone. As much as I hate it, I can't put you all through the pain…so I'll become a vampire." _That was it, _she thought. _No turning back now._

**WOOO! I just cranked that one out in a little over an hour, and I must say I am particularly pleased with it :) Yay, for work induced exhaustion.**

**Hope you enjoyed it!**


	8. Lust For Blood

**Hey everybody :) Thank you all so much for the reviews and subscriptions. I am very pleased with the feedback for this story and it gives me much inspiration to continue writing. Thankfully, I have a factory job that allows me MUCH thinking time…so I have come up with quite a few ideas for future chapters. Interestingly enough, this chapter ended up being more than just a drabble because I really wanted to delve into Elena's transition, which I just find fascinating to think about. I was also severely unhappy with it at first, but left it sitting for a few days and when I came back to it, I was much happier. =D **

**As always, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I found my inspiration from the song Lust for Blood by Gackt. The English lyrics are extremely powerful in my opinion so feel free to check it out!**

Chapter 8: Lust for Blood

It was her first taste of blood as a vampire. O positive—apparently the blood type most preferred by vampires. She had eyed the scotch glass filled with the thick red liquid with disgust before hesitantly taking a sip. They were watching her—Damon, Stefan, and Caroline—and she found it extremely irritating because for the last hour they all seemed to be walking on egg shells around her. It wasn't like she was a different person—not yet, anyway. Maybe that's what they were all waiting for. To be honest, she had no idea how being a vampire was going to change her. And if she didn't know, then the other three vampires definitely had no idea.

She took another, larger sip. It wasn't much but she could already feel the blood changing her body, beginning with the fangs that suddenly pushed their way painfully through her gums. She felt stronger, could hear and see things more clearly, and that heightened sense of smell—well that was sure to drive her absolutely crazy, but she continued to drink. It wasn't the tangy yet bitter iron flavor that her first sip had tasted like; that had been her human taste buds giving the blood that flavor. No, she found that the red liquid had suddenly become disgustingly delicious—it was sweet, with a musky undertone, followed by a slightly tangy aftertaste.

It was purely intoxicating, and she loved it. Its essence consumed her mind, her body, and her soul—if she even had a soul anymore—she wasn't entirely sure when it came to the myths surrounding vampires having no souls. All she knew was that when she felt the last drops of blood from the glass slide down her throat, she was aware of nothing other than the lust for blood and the intense ache of hunger in the pit of her stomach. She reached for another blood bag, but didn't bother to pour it into the glass. She ripped the bag open, and devoured it within moments. When that one was also sucked dry she reached for the final one, but was met with resistance.

"That's enough, Elena. You don't need any more blood right now."

_That voice. _ It was gentle, but earnest; serious. And it belonged to none other than Damon Salvatore. Elena snapped out of her human blood induced trance, felt the veins below her eyes slowly fade away, and the fangs retract into her gums once again. Her hands clasped to her mouth in fear as she realized just how easy it was to be consumed by blood lust. She glanced back and forth between Damon, Stefan, and Caroline, and she was suddenly glad that they were there. No one else would have been able to stop her from consuming all the blood she could find in that house. Who knows, she may have even ventured into the great outdoors to feast on an innocent human.

She broke down into tears. It was all too much for her to bear. In mere moments she had allowed herself to be consumed by the blood. _Was this how it was going to be for the rest of her existence? _If that was the case then surely she would rather die than deal with the constant hunger, heightened senses and emotions, the guilt, and most importantly, the constant longing for her humanity.

"I can't do this…" she murmured, more to herself than anyone else. "I'm not cut out to be a vampire. I was never meant to live like this."

"For fuck's sake…you have been a vampire for all of 5 minutes. What did you think it was going to be, a walk in the park? Newsflash, being a vampire sucks, but it gets easier….Well, for most of us." Damon glanced at Stefan and gave him an almost apologetic look. Of the three vampires, Stefan was the only one who lived on either extreme of vampirism—no human blood, or nothing _but _human blood. Damon and Caroline had learned to control it. No, it was never an easy task, but there were many aspects about being a vampire that kept them distracted enough on most occasions. And of course there was always alcohol to tame the hunger.

Caroline took Elena's hand in her own, and donned that classic motherly gaze that she always wore when it came to Elena. "Do you remember when I first turned?" Elena nodded. "I was a mess… an insecure, jealous and neurotic teenager turned into a vampire. That's not a good combination. But I turned out alright, didn't I?" Another nod. "All I know is that you, Elena, are a much stronger girl than I ever was before. You care about others more than yourself. You hate seeing others get hurt. And you have this stubborn determination that I never had. So if there is anyone who can handle being a vampire, it's you." Caroline smiled warmly, and gently wiped the tears from Elena's cheek with a tissue from the box on the table.

"She's absolutely right… And you have all of us here to help you through this. We aren't going to let you give up. Not this soon. It's going to take time, but you just have to be patient. You _can _do this; you just have to believe in yourself." Stefan rose from the chair in front of the couch where Elena was seated, gave her a swift kiss on the forehead, and headed out of the room.

"Stefan, wait. Where are you going? I thought you were all here to help me?"

He smiled weakly. "You know that Damon and Caroline will be much better at teaching you how to control the blood lust than I will be…and if you can control it then there is no need for you to feed on animals as I have done. You're in good hands. I'll be here for…moral support, if you need it." And with that he disappeared from the room. To Elena's surprise though, she saw every movement as he normally would have vanished in a flash, and she found it fascinating.

She turned back to the two vampires left in the room and let out a sigh. "So, when do we begin?"

Caroline all but squealed in excitement, and jumped up to wrap her arms tightly around her best friend. Elena realized that if she were still human, her blonde friends' vice-like grip probably would have suffocated her within moments. "Let's go now! I know I haven't been a vampire for very long, but it will be so much fun to teach you what I know!"

She was beaming from ear to ear and trying to drag her out of the parlor. Elena felt a horrible rush of guilt, knowing that she would have to decline Caroline's offer. If she was going to learn how to control the blood lust—and learn properly—her best bet was Damon. And truthfully, all she wanted was some alone time with him.

"Caroline…I know how much you want to help me, but I think for now it would be best for Damon to take me out and show me the ropes. I'm sorry…"

The crestfallen look on Caroline's face threatened to crumple Elena's resolve, but then Caroline brightened up and suggested that they both teach her. Somehow, Elena felt that would not end well, as Damon and Caroline had different methods of hunting, feeding, and controlling the thirst. She looked to Damon, but couldn't quite read his expression. She had expected him to at least show some excitement at the prospect of teaching her what it really meant to be a vampire—if not at least be excited that she chose _him _to teach her. Not Stefan. Not Caroline.

"Elena's right. I have one hundred and sixty some odd years on you, blondie. I think I am far more qualified than a less than a year old baby vamp."

Caroline sighed, but gave in. "Alright. Fine, but once she feels more confident, I get my turn to show her how to be a real vampire."

Elena smiled and gave her a fierce hug. "Thank you Care… You will get your turn, I promise."

"Pinky Promise?" Caroline held up her pinky finger, and Elena wrapped her own around it, giggling playfully. It was like they were children again, and she realized she couldn't remember the last time she actually felt young. Well, at least now she had an eternity to find that youth she yearned for so much again.

She turned to Damon, smiled hesitantly, and asked, "Shall we go then?" She held out her arm for him, but he did not take it, only walked past her and headed out the door motioning for her follow.

They spent most of the 'training session' in silence. He showed her the perks to being a vampire, beginning with the newfound speed and strength she never had before. She figured that of all the benefits to being a vampire, her ability to truly protect the people she loved from now on was the single best aspect of it all. If she were being completely honest with herself, it was the one thing that kept her going through the transition and her first taste of human blood. If there were a way to have that strength without being a vampire, she wished it were an option for her. But as always, she realized that life had to move on, and she would grow accustomed to all that it meant to be a vampire—_eventually. _

First she had to get past that overbearing sense of smell. Sure, there were scents that were tantalizing—blood being the prime example. But was it really necessary to be able to smell _everything, _from the musky smell of the dirt below her feet to the unbearable stench of a deep fryer from the only fast food restaurant in Mystic Falls? How was it possible to even smell that from over a mile away anyway? She just couldn't wrap her mind around it, and it frustrated her beyond all reason.

Damon could sense the frustration she was feeling and decided to call it quits for the day. Besides, as much as he loved Elena, he really did not feel like playing teacher and chaperone for the next—well however long it took for her to get a grip on being one of the undead. Although he had complete faith in her, he had the feeling that it was going to be more of a struggle for her than anyone else seemed to think it would be. Sure she would be able to control it, and she would relish in the heightened senses and strength and all those good things about being a vampire. But she would struggle with the morality of the situation the most. She would never be able to feed on a human without feeling remorse for the animalistic act afterwards.

In other words, she would struggle the exact same way he did when he first turned. Sure, he had been tempted by the benefits that Stefan had so convincingly described to him, and he had given in. But it was not what he wanted. He wanted his humanity back, _damnit,_ and that was exactly what she would long for most as well. He didn't think he could bear to watch her go through the struggle, knowing that he would basically be watching his own life on repeat. He just hoped she would prove him wrong, and that she would be able to handle all that being a newborn vampire entailed—better than he could, anyway.

"I think Stefan should teach you his way of living." He knew he was contradicting his previous statement about being more qualified to teach her how to 'live' her new life, but it didn't matter, he truly felt that it would be better for her and would spare her the torment of dealing with the morality issue.

"What? No. He said it himself that it would be best for me to learn to control the thirst as you do. And I also think it is for the best, because what if I pulled a ripper like Stefan periodically does?" There were the heightened emotions surfacing—she felt like she was about to break down into a fit of tears again, but she was also angry with Damon for even suggesting that she follow Stefan's diet. Everyone knew how well that worked for him—it _didn't._

She was genuinely worried about becoming a ripper, which Damon found hilarious. "You? Become a ripper? Elena, for all that you are, even though you are a vampire, you will never succumb to _those_ gruesome and primal instincts. You are too good. And that is going to live on with you even more so now that everything you feel is exaggerated."

"Then what is the problem Damon? I want _you _to teach me. I want _you _to make me control my constant lust for blood. I thought you would be happy that I chose you for this…" Tears threatened to overflow once again, but she pushed them back. It was stupid to cry about something like this, but she couldn't deny that she felt she had done something wrong. He had been distant with her after she decided to go through with the transition and she simply could not figure out why. He wasn't happy. He wasn't angry. He just seemed blank—devoid of all emotion.

"Elena…. I am happy that you chose me for this. But I can't stand seeing you struggle like this, pining for your humanity. I know that when you go home tonight and you're all alone, the tears will come. They always do… And there is nothing that I can do to help you cope with _that._" He looked at her with those smoldering blue eyes, and then turned away. "Let's get you home so you can eat."

"No, don't try to deflect right now. I don't care about the hunger at the moment." He snorted at her lie, interrupting her mid sentence. She continued as if he hadn't spoken at all. "But we apparently need to talk about some things, don't we? For one, _Damon, _there is something you can do to help me cope with the loss of my humanity. You can _be there _for me. But apparently that isn't something you want to do." She was in his face by that point, and she was angry. _She really needed to get a grip on all these emotions. _She laughed for a moment as she realized that she had only been a vampire for about 3 hours. It would have been a miracle if she were able to control her emotions so quickly. "So what's the goddamn problem Damon? Is me being a vampire not what you expected it to be? Well, newsflash, it's not exactly what I expected it to be either. But I am _trying _to just accept that this is how things are going to be from now on, because this is what _you _wanted. Or have you already forgotten the time you force fed me your blood? Or that last night you begged me to transition because you didn't want to lose me." She was breathing heavily, even though it was technically unnecessary, and her chest rose and fell dramatically with each intake of air.

Damon stood dumbstruck staring at the girl in front of him, who was apparently much feistier now than she was as a human. It took him a few moments to collect his thoughts. He had no idea how to respond. Truthfully, he wasn't even sure why he was being so distant with her.

And then it hit him, as the memory from the night before floated back into his memory.

"_It would have been you Damon. In a heartbeat." _Was it really true? Had she truly meant what she said during that phone call? He wanted to be there for her through this, and he wanted desperately to believe that she had told the truth. He had believed it the night before, but he was now chalking that up to the fact that he was possibly a dead man at the time, and believing that she really would have chosen him was the only way he could die peacefully. But he was still alive. And they had yet to discuss that phone call—surely it would come though, and she would tell him that she said it out of pity, just like that whole 'death bed kissy thing.'

"Does it really matter? You have Caroline and Stefan to be your personal cheerleaders, while I just play chaperone and make sure you don't do anything stupid in your first days as a vampire." He knew his words stung and cut her to the core, but he had to protect himself from the heartache that was sure to come later.

"Is that all this is to you?" Damon remained rooted to the spot but said nothing. "Alright fine, if you really don't want to help me with this then I'll go to Caroline. At least I know she won't give up on me so soon." She began to walk away but turned back to him after she had put about 10 feet of distance between them. "Thanks a lot Damon. I'm glad that you _genuinely _care about my well-being."

With that she used her newfound abilities to disappear through the trees. Of course, she knew Damon was faster, and could easily catch her. She had actually expected him to run after her, to stop her and tell her that she was wrong, but by the time she reached her house, it was clear that he had no intention of proving her wrong.

Well, if that was how he was going to act, then he could come to her when he decided he felt like caring again. Until then, she was no longer on speaking terms with him. She knew it was childish, but she truly had no idea what to do about him when she had much more pressing issues to deal with.

Like the fact that she was hungry—excruciatingly hungry.

**Well there is chapter 8 folks! If you are confused about how this was about her trying to make it up to him…it was supposed to be the fact that she chose him to help her. However, obviously he still has some misgivings—about everything. I hope the chapter was good. I really didn't want it to be this long, but I think it may have been necessary.**

**As always, thank you for your support!**


	9. Selfishness

**Hey everybody! I am soo sooo sorry that I didn't update all summer, but after watching the season premiere I am actually kind of glad I didn't. I hope you are all still following me, despite my absence.**

**This Chapter is of course, based on their conversation at the end of the episode, but is how I think it should have gone, as well as a couple changed events of the day, since in this story she already made the transition.**

**On a side note: Stefan and Elena made me want to barf at the end. WHY IS SHE PERFECTLY OK WITH STEFAN AFTER EVERYTHING HE PUT HER THROUGH? OMG.**

**Anyway, please enjoy :)**

**Chapter 9: Selfishness**

It had been one hell of a day to say the least—her second day as a vampire and already she was kidnapped and locked up in a vervain mist filled room, after having been injected with vervain and shot in the leg with a wooden bullet. Needless to say, it was not her day. But as always, everything managed to work itself out alright, with the help of Damon and Matt—that is, until Damon tried to kill Matt for being the one that survived.

Well, now Elena was a pissed off, weak and extremely exhausted baby vampire who really just wanted to go home, drink some blood—as much as the thought still disgusted her—and go to sleep. She did not feel like dealing with a vengeful Damon, who for some reason was still pissed off at her. But, she was determined to get him to talk, because clearly they had some misunderstandings to straighten out.

"You were going to kill him!" she exclaimed, chasing after him as he walked away, determined not to rehash the same argument they've had countless times before.

He sighed in frustration. "Yup. The guy just won't die."

"It was my choice to save him. Why aren't you seeing that?

He stopped and finally faced her. "It's a little hard to keep track of all your choices lately, Elena." He hadn't necessarily intended the words as harshly as they came out, which he realized as soon as he saw the look on her face—the look she always gave him when he said something she didn't like. But it didn't matter, if they were going to have this fight again, he was already there with guns blazing.

"My choices? Have you forgotten that I would have chosen you the night of the accident? Or that I chose you to show me what it's really like to be a vampire? Or does none of that matter to you anymore?"

"Oh sure, just go ahead and blame me again. Because apparently choosing to sacrifice yourself means that you actually care how _everyone_ feels. You didn't even give it a second thought, and I suppose that makes you feel good about yourself. Well _bravo_—you're more of a martyr than my baby brother is_. _So yes, you're right Elena, choosing me means nothing right now, because you gave up the one thing that we were all trying to protect—Your _life. _Your _humanity._" He was in her face now, and possibly more pissed off than she was about the whole damn situation. Sure, he could never forget that she would have chosen him that night—it meant the world to hear her say that—but giving up her life was simply unacceptable to him.

Elena was hurt by his words. How _dare _he say that it meant nothing. But somehow no matter how hard she tried to concentrate, she could not seem to think of anything remotely close to a snarky comeback. So instead of wasting time being mesmerized by his blue eyes and unable to form a coherent sentence, she changed the subject. Yeah, she knew she was deflecting, but she didn't care—Damon did it to her all the time.

"I remember everything."

She turned her gaze from his and he took a step back in alarm. Sure, he knew that the memories he compelled her to forget would return sooner or later, but he didn't expect her to bring it up now of all times. He simply added it to the list of things he didn't particularly want to discuss with her. Ever. But as expected, she continued speaking.

"One of the highlights of my transition…remembering everything you compelled me to forget. Like how we met first." When she first had that flashback, she couldn't believe she had met Damon before Stefan, and she was pissed that he would compel her to forget something like that. Besides, the memory was a much better first impression of him than her actual first impression was. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would it have made a difference?" She couldn't quite explain it, but it did make a huge difference, even though she knew he would never see it that way. Truthfully though, he was a different person at the time they met, so in a way she could understand how he thought that.

"Of course it makes a difference Damon! Have you not been listening to a single word I've said?"

"No, not really. I kinda tuned out right after you stopped me from killing your beloved football player." God, she was driving him crazy. What did she think she was accomplishing by having this argument with him? It all came down to her choices, and as long as he couldn't allow her to continue making the stupid choices she had been making—which he wouldn't—there would always be a wedge between them.

"Wow. Thanks Damon. This is why we never seem to work out." That was the understatement of the century. "Because you _never _listen to me."

"Oh, I listen. I just tend to weed out all the bullshit. Like allowing you to drown yourself so Matt can live."

"See? No matter how much I beg you, if it had been you at the bridge and not Stefan, you would have saved me first. All because you couldn't let me go." It would never make sense to her why he couldn't let her make her own choices—and mistakes. She loved him dearly, but she needed her independence. Who was she if she let others make choices for her all the time? But her thoughts were quickly cut short by his response.

"You're right, Elena, I couldn't let you go. I still won't. Because you would have gotten to grow up and have the life you wanted—the life that you deserved. And I know that I didn't use to get that, but I do now, and I wanted that for you. I would have gladly given it to you and let Matt die because I _am _that selfish. But you knew that already…the first night we met is not all that you remember."

And it was at that moment that it all clicked for her. Yes, he was selfish in his actions, especially when it came to her, but he had truly done it all for her—for her humanity. Perhaps though, that's what made it all seem so unselfish in hindsight. He wanted her to have the life she had always wanted—to get married, have children, and grow old someday. She was foolish for assuming he was happy that she was a vampire—at one point she knew he would have been—but now, everything was different.

As she stared at a single spot on the ground lost in though, she realized that he was right about everything. She was always so concerned with saving everyone else that she never even thought of the impact her death would have on everyone—whether she was dead-dead or undead.

"Are we done here? I have better things to be doing right now than trying to justify my every action to you."

She really had nothing to say to him—nothing that was worthy enough, anyway. An apology would never make up for all the times she judged him for being selfish, when it fact she was the one who had been selfish all along. Noting her silence as an end to the conversation, he began to walk away. He was sick of the games and the judging and all the blaming between them. In a way, he was starting to give up on ever completely winning her love, even though there was that part of him that knew she loved him, whether it was the way he wanted her to or not.

Watching him walk away this time was possibly the most difficult thing she had faced all day. She wasn't even sure where this had left them standing—were they speaking? Were they not speaking? It was always unpredictable with them.

So in one single moment, with all her heightened emotions and vampire abilities, she made a decision, and suddenly she was standing in front of him, blocking his path.

He looked at her incredulously. "Get out of the way, Elena. I want to go home."

"So do I. I just have to say one thing first. I just need to say it and you need to hear it. Then I'll be gone, I promise." If her heart was still beating, it would have beaten itself right out of her chest, she was so nervous.

_Those words_. He knew them—they had been said once before in a seventeen year-old's pink, girly bedroom. If he was correct, then the words that would follow were sure to be his undoing—he had no idea if he could handle them or not.

"I love you, Damon."

**And there you have it! I'm not sure I quite expected it to go there so soon, but it's ok, it won't be smooth sailing from here on out…. Oh no, they still have many issues to deal with.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and that you are all super excited for tomorrow night's episode! I know I am =D**

Truth be told, if she took the time to think about what he was saying, she would probably realize that he was right. She was always so concerned with saving everyone else that she never stopped to think about how they would feel when she died.


End file.
